Sunday, July 27, 2008 at 06:31PM A shopping trip to Estepona today yielded 7 handbags! Yes..............7 and I am proud to tell you that only 1 of them belongs to me. I bought a rather fetching brown number while others had white, red, pink, brown and cream. Great day........fantastic weather and the ability to get anywhere we want because my friend Jane and her husband, Tom, lent us their Sat Nav which is proving invaluable. Thanks Jane!
Friday, July 25, 2008 at 05:49PM And not a minute too soon! We have taken a flight to the South of Spain and are enjoying a week's break in the sun. I could sense I needed it and I am sure that my family would agree!!
So my mum and my friend Alison have come over. Alison for just a long weekend but we are here for the week and Nikky is joining us in a couple of days' time. It is just what was needed. Sun, chilling and the odd dip in the pool. Here for your delectation are a couple of photos. The apartment belongs to my dear friend, Jules and her husband and all I can say is they have wonderful taste. This is a view from the balacony across to the sea. The other photograph is a picture of the sitting room. Just wonderful to relax in.
o
Sally Rouse
Saturday, July 19, 2008 at 07:33AM Part of coming to terms with being a widow is learning how to deal with situations which we normally take in our stride in a new way. How often do we meet friends, go out for supper, make decisions, have friends over and so on, on a regular basis? We don't think much of it but we just get on with it all. Yet once you are widowed you approach everything in a different way. This isn't a "feeling sorry for yourself" post. It is a post of observations.
During the week I went out to dinner and the theatre with friends. It was a new experience for me as the theatre is the most gorgeous little place - probably seating no more than 150 people - and I was meeting new people for the first time. It went well I enjoyed the meal and the play and the conversation went well. I think what really hit me though was that there is just the awareness that there is no-one else to consider when deciding to go home, no-one to chat over the evening's events and of course no-one to share the driving. (I can see that I shall be considerably more abstemious in the future than I have been up to now!) It isn't easy to know how you fit into a group of couples. I've never been one who thinks that you have to have a partner with you all the time to validate who you are but it is definitely true that our society kind of expects people to come in twos!
I braved the challenge of having a supper party yesterday. It went well I think and it was lovely to have time to chat with our neighbours. I was lucky to have someone who took over the job of keeping people's drinks filled and it required some very specific organisation in order to keep the kitchen tidy, food moving through at the required rate and washing up done. The thought of ending up with a kitchen which looked like WW3 had taken place there was something I dreaded. But it went well. No-one was ill (as yet!) and it all went well, including the clearing up. So, yes, I shall do it again.
Finally the plans for my kitchen renovations are nearly complete and work starts after we return from our holiday. In about 3 weeks time the wall will be taken down between the kitchen and dining room and we shall be living in bricks and dust for the next 5-6 weeks. Doing this on my own has been a challenge but I love a project and this is truly a big one. I know it will be worth it in the end but it is different not having to discuss decisions, compromise on choices and generally "share" the whole process with someone. Sometimes it is more difficult, sometimes it is infinitely easier.
So all in all, I think I am doing fine on working my way through the path of widowhood. I am often very overwhelmed by grief but I am moving forward. I am learning to be the new person I am. I miss the old me and the old us more than any words can say but I am dealing with things and I hope Dick would be proud of me.
Sunday, July 13, 2008 at 07:29PM Well today was the day. The weather pulled itself together and had the decency to behave like English summer weather should and my mum and I together with my friend and her daughter, made our way to Southampton Common to do the Race for Life. If you have not done one of these, I urge you to consider it. It is a very humbling experience and extremely moving to see how many thousands are affected by cancer. We were part of 10,000 women running/walking today. We didn't run but we walked. My mum (shortly to be 79) kept up with us all and even set the pace on a couple of occasions. She is an example to all of us. But it was fun and purposeful and above all essential. If these events didn't happen, Cancer Research Uk would lose 60% of its funding. Shocking isn't it? Most of the funding for research into cancer is provided for through donations. Have YOU donated???? Feel free to do it now! :) (Sorry - being a bit enthusiastic there but the message is pretty serious.)
Anyway, here we are in all our glory...............before the race. We looked pretty good afterwards too but I forgot to take a photo!
My mum and I in the first photo and my friends in the second photo. Between the two of us Sharon and I have lost nearly 9 stone in weight!!!
But on a totally different tack, yesterday I went to a quilting workshop in Brockenhurst. The teacher was Penny Bicknell and we learnt how to make a block from one template. I have made a cushion cover with mine, ready for my new kitchen. I think it will look fab when quilted and piped etc.
So a busy weekend. Creative, energetic and definitely a feel-good factor. See you all next time!
Sally Rouse
Forgot to add that my brother and his wife in Sydney, Australia organised a small event of their friends to walk the same distance at the same time that we were walking. Of course with the time difference, they were walking at night! However, by charging them $20 entry fee each and then giving them a BBQ before they started, Ian and Karen have raised about £200. Half will be donated to Cancer Research and the other half to the equivalent Australian charity. Great effort guys and thanks!
Thursday, July 10, 2008 at 10:23PM We got back from Tom's graduation today. I say "We" and by that I mean my mum and I. We left Tom to have a couple of days with friends in Swansea where he is no doubt frequenting the local watering holes and generally enjoying himself.
It was good to see him graduate today and to know that despite all the different distractions, some avoidable and some not, he has finished his formal education. So it is really the end of an era. I have no children being taught anything (except by life itself!) I am not paying fees, organising collecting and delivering, worrying about academic deadlines (Well...........someone had to!!!) and generally being a supportive mum. In theory, the job is done and they should be out standing on their own two feet.
Of course in reality it isn't quite like that. Tom is pursuing his ideas about a career at the moment but it will take some time and I don't want to go public until it has started to bear some fruit for him. In the meantime, he continues to push his mower and use his strimmer to good effect locally. Ben is hoping to go to university in 2009 to do a PGCE, having not been able to get a place this year. He is determined and dedicated and I know he will succeed. He leaves the school where he has been working as a Teaching Assistant at the end of this term with a view to moving to Brighton as soon as he can get a job.
So that's where we are. As for me...............well, I have a quilting workshop booked for Saturday so watch this space for the new production and of course I am running in the Race for Life on Sunday at Southampton Common. If you haven't sponsored me and intended to, the button is on the left. Click on it and you can not only commit some money to an extremely worthy cause, you can read a few of the comments left by those who have already sponsored me. Let's hope the weather stays dry.