July 2008

What a load of old bags!

Sally Rouse — Sun, 27 Jul 2008 17:31:08 +0000

A shopping trip to Estepona today yielded 7 handbags! Yes..............7 and I am proud to tell you that only 1 of them belongs to me. I bought a rather fetching brown number while others had white, red, pink, brown and cream. Great day........fantastic weather and the ability to get anywhere we want because my friend Jane and her husband, Tom, lent us their Sat Nav which is proving invaluable. Thanks Jane!

Holiday time

Sally Rouse — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 16:49:42 +0000

And not a minute too soon! We have taken a flight to the South of Spain and are enjoying a week's break in the sun. I could sense I needed it and I am sure that my family would agree!!

So my mum and my friend Alison have come over. Alison for just a long weekend but we are here for the week and Nikky is joining us in a couple of days' time. It is just what was needed. Sun, chilling and the odd dip in the pool. Here for your delectation are a couple of photos. The apartment belongs to my dear friend, Jules and her husband and all I can say is they have wonderful taste. This is a view from the balacony across to the sea. The other photograph is a picture of the sitting room. Just wonderful to relax in.o

Striking out

Sally Rouse — Sat, 19 Jul 2008 06:33:07 +0000

Part of coming to terms with being a widow is learning how to deal with situations which we normally take in our stride in a new way. How often do we meet friends, go out for supper, make decisions, have friends over and so on, on a regular basis? We don't think much of it but we just get on with it all. Yet once you are widowed you approach everything in a different way. This isn't a "feeling sorry for yourself" post. It is a post of observations.

During the week I went out to dinner and the theatre with friends. It was a new experience for me as the theatre is the most gorgeous little place - probably seating no more than 150 people - and I was meeting new people for the first time. It went well I enjoyed the meal and the play and the conversation went well. I think what really hit me though was that there is just the awareness that there is no-one else to consider when deciding to go home, no-one to chat over the evening's events and of course no-one to share the driving. (I can see that I shall be considerably more abstemious in the future than I have been up to now!) It isn't easy to know how you fit into a group of couples. I've never been one who thinks that you have to have a partner with you all the time to validate who you are but it is definitely true that our society kind of expects people to come in twos!

I braved the challenge of having a supper party yesterday. It went well I think and it was lovely to have time to chat with our neighbours. I was lucky to have someone who took over the job of keeping people's drinks filled and it required some very specific organisation in order to keep the kitchen tidy, food moving through at the required rate and washing up done. The thought of ending up with a kitchen which looked like WW3 had taken place there was something I dreaded. But it went well. No-one was ill (as yet!) and it all went well, including the clearing up. So, yes, I shall do it again.

Finally the plans for my kitchen renovations are nearly complete and work starts after we return from our holiday. In about 3 weeks time the wall will be taken down between the kitchen and dining room and we shall be living in bricks and dust for the next 5-6 weeks. Doing this on my own has been a challenge but I love a project and this is truly a big one. I know it will be worth it in the end but it is different not having to discuss decisions, compromise on choices and generally "share" the whole process with someone. Sometimes it is more difficult, sometimes it is infinitely easier.

So all in all, I think I am doing fine on working my way through the path of widowhood. I am often very overwhelmed by grief but I am moving forward. I am learning to be the new person I am. I miss the old me and the old us more than any words can say but I am dealing with things and I hope Dick would be proud of me.

RAce for life

Sally Rouse — Sun, 13 Jul 2008 18:29:50 +0000

Well today was the day. The weather pulled itself together and had the decency to behave like English summer weather should and my mum and I together with my friend and her daughter, made our way to Southampton Common to do the Race for Life. If you have not done one of these, I urge you to consider it. It is a very humbling experience and extremely moving to see how many thousands are affected by cancer. We were part of 10,000 women running/walking today. We didn't run but we walked. My mum (shortly to be 79) kept up with us all and even set the pace on a couple of occasions. She is an example to all of us. But it was fun and purposeful and above all essential. If these events didn't happen, Cancer Research Uk would lose 60% of its funding. Shocking isn't it? Most of the funding for research into cancer is provided for through donations. Have YOU donated???? Feel free to do it now! :) (Sorry - being a bit enthusiastic there but the message is pretty serious.)

Anyway, here we are in all our glory...............before the race. We looked pretty good afterwards too but I forgot to take a photo!

My mum and I in the first photo and my friends in the second photo. Between the two of us Sharon and I have lost nearly 9 stone in weight!!!

But on a totally different tack, yesterday I went to a quilting workshop in Brockenhurst. The teacher was Penny Bicknell and we learnt how to make a block from one template. I have made a cushion cover with mine, ready for my new kitchen. I think it will look fab when quilted and piped etc.

So a busy weekend. Creative, energetic and definitely a feel-good factor. See you all next time!

End of an era

Sally Rouse — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 21:23:06 +0000

We got back from Tom's graduation today. I say "We" and by that I mean my mum and I. We left Tom to have a couple of days with friends in Swansea where he is no doubt frequenting the local watering holes and generally enjoying himself. It was good to see him graduate today and to know that despite all the different distractions, some avoidable and some not, he has finished his formal education. So it is really the end of an era. I have no children being taught anything (except by life itself!) I am not paying fees, organising collecting and delivering, worrying about academic deadlines (Well...........someone had to!!!) and generally being a supportive mum. In theory, the job is done and they should be out standing on their own two feet.

Of course in reality it isn't quite like that. Tom is pursuing his ideas about a career at the moment but it will take some time and I don't want to go public until it has started to bear some fruit for him. In the meantime, he continues to push his mower and use his strimmer to good effect locally. Ben is hoping to go to university in 2009 to do a PGCE, having not been able to get a place this year. He is determined and dedicated and I know he will succeed. He leaves the school where he has been working as a Teaching Assistant at the end of this term with a view to moving to Brighton as soon as he can get a job.

So that's where we are. As for me...............well, I have a quilting workshop booked for Saturday so watch this space for the new production and of course I am running in the Race for Life on Sunday at Southampton Common. If you haven't sponsored me and intended to, the button is on the left. Click on it and you can not only commit some money to an extremely worthy cause, you can read a few of the comments left by those who have already sponsored me. Let's hope the weather stays dry.

A day of mixed feelings

Sally Rouse — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 07:38:40 +0000

Today would have been Dick's birthday. He should have been 54 today and we should have been opening presents and laughing and enjoying his day. But instead we - Tom, my mum and I - are driving to Swansea to see Tom graduate from university. It was Dick's dearest wish that Tom complete his degree and he has, so we are very proud of him. I know that the tone of this entry is perhaps a little less upbeat than others and you would be right. Dick's absence is huge at the moment and we are all affected by it. But we also know that we have to be pleased with Tom's achievement and I have to recognise that between us, Dick and I, we produced two fine sons who we are proud of.

So, we are putting on the glad rags, painting on the face and making it a day to celebrate Tom's achievement. Just as we would have it he were here. I have packed the camera and the tissues. I think both will be used to full effect!

Summer days and windy weather

Sally Rouse — Sun, 06 Jul 2008 05:37:22 +0000

Gosh it is windy here! More like a winter's day than mid-summer but last week had some lovely days. I visited my friend Sue and her husband and the weather was glorious. We sat outside to eat and went to Champneys for the day when the sun shone and it was heavenly. I even came away with a bit of a tan.

It was a lovely experience. We didn't do any treatment but did an exercise class - very gentle - and swam and had a guided tour of the gardens as well as eating in the restaurant. The food was delicious! We had a fab day and it was lovely to spend time with Sue. She has been a good friend over the years of scrapbooking and I always enjoy seeing her.

I left them and went to London for a workshop for my new Bernina sewing machine on Wednesday. What an eye-opener that turned out to be! I reckon that thing is within a whisker of being able to make toast, butter it and present it attractively on the plate!!! It is a wonderful piece of machinery and I am desperate to use it and enjoy it. I must make time to do it but at the moment I am busy and it is lovely to be like that.

The kitchen plans are taking shape. Units chose, tiles chosen, sofa ordered, blinds chosen but not ordered etc etc. Seems like the wall I am knocking down might be a supporting wall so now I need a Structural Engineer and an RSJ but I am not worried about that! I am assured it is all perfectly OK. It's a bit daunting but I'll get there. Who knows, I might even develop a taste for it all and become a property magnate....................I think not!!!

I have cleared out the study completely. It was a long job and at times a bit gut-wrenching but it is done and organised and I feel very good about it all. I've even become an E-bay seller and that is good fun. Might as well make some money from all the junk we have accumulated. Funny how one man/woman's junk is another man's desirable object.